so sick of you people (:

not talking to me

I just need to get something off of my chest
I just need to talk to someone

I want to be the one that haunts your mind
The one you always say "this could of been mine."

I want to be the one to make you regret what you do
The one you actually know loved "you for you."

I want to be the one you cry yourself to sleep for
The one you know will never be around anymore.

I want to be the one you think of from time to time
The one you got with out some cheesy pick up line.

I want to be the one you try your best to forget
But i come back to your thoughts when you least expect it.

But

I'm afraid that I'm the girl
that you never really remember

You added to your list
of the girls that you have changed

I wish on every star on every birthday candle,
that you will realize how much that i need you.

And even though my life will never be the same
somewhat I'm glad I met you
I'm glad you hurt me
Even though it was wrong..

You've only made me strong.

AM i stupid for thinking that somewhere out there, in space, there is another "earth" and there are other people just like all of us. Different languages, different styles, different ways of living.
IF so that is where i want to be, i want to be away from all the politics, away from all the judging, and crying, and killing, that is going on here.
I think that is where my husband is, in a different universe. Because i can not possibly see myself marrying, or even being with anyone from this earth that we live on.
Everyone these days are so fake, just to fit in.
Just because you have a million or so friends on myspace does not give your ass the right to sit here and tell me that You are better than me.
And people who look for boyfriends or girlfriends through myspace, Loveme.com, whatever you do, That is the lamest way to ever find a relationship, I mean "anyone can type themselves a personality" But when it comes to real life they are probably just Insecure and ugly as they are on the internet.
And people only put the good pictures of themselves on the internet, i mean they search all day for the right outfits, do their makeup and hair, just to take pictures to put on their websites, just so people will add them or talk to them, what shit is this.
I think it is lame, and this is why i could never honestly see myself with anyone in north America.
And do not sit here and tell me that not everyone does that because this is bull shit everyone is fake.


I'm just angry at the world right now.

ONE

the darkness will fade,
and i wait for that day.

when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll be all mine

you'll kiss me on the lips,
and gently hold my hips.

Until we fall fast asleep,
and wake up some time next week.





I remember your voice,
i remember your smell.

I remember the way
i met you and instantly fell.

For your smile, for your body,
for the way you talked all naughty.

You were just like i thought You'd be,
I loved you and you loved me.




TWO

i melt when i see you
i melt when i feel you

touch me
again
and again
and again

i can never get tired,
of all the desire

That's building up in me,

I don't write for the fun of it i write because I'm alone

In a black sea of depression, I have learned to call my home,

Lonely thoughts,
Lonely Nights,
Lonely days,
I can praise.

It's pitch black in the sea, So dark i see nothing but you and me.

face to face, hand in hand,

I hardly know what I'm writing, hardly know what to say, Someday I know I'll get out of this sea and find the lighted bay

I'd love to write a song,
that means more than just little words,
letters on a paper,
put together in a sentence,
in a fragment,
in a metaphor of desire,
n a work of art that someday i can show my son or daughter.

But it all just comes out wrong,
people look at me like I'm a moron,
and i stare at my thoughts like one day some day maybe,
i can write something to help us all get along.

I can't help but dream,
It helps me stay alive,
helps me want,
helps me thrive,
for desire,
but i always get to tired,
and iput away my thoughts,
wrap them up in tiny knots,
and i hope that one day someday maybe,
I can help cure the pain I've fought.

in the center of my mind
peace is all i try to find
all the people screaming at me
make me more and more unhappy
people telling me what to do
guys pressuring me to screw
i wish that i could go away
so i dont have to live day to day
with the worries and troubles that i have
and people making me so god damn mad
all the faces that i see
they are looking down on me
trying to make me cry
and a tear rolls away from my eye